


Skeleboner

by GrieverBitMyFinger



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Adult Ciel Phantomhive, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Apples, Boyfriends, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Candy, Crack, Dirty Jokes, Double Entendre, Embarrassment, Fluff, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Harry Potter References, Human Sebastian Michaelis, Innuendo, Kissing, M/M, SebaCiel - Freeform, Skeleton Puns, Skeletons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-09 23:36:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16459217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrieverBitMyFinger/pseuds/GrieverBitMyFinger
Summary: Sebastian decides to surprise his boyfriend with his new Halloween costume. Ciel has never seen anything quite so terrible in his life.





	Skeleboner

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The_Trash_Can](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Trash_Can/gifts).



> You wanted Sebastian as Skeleboner and there was no way I would say no to writing that!! xD (If any of you were wondering: Yes, this is an actual costume. I saw it when I went to Spirit Halloween and ended up laughing for ten minutes straight after almost buying it.)

Ah Halloween, the time for candies and parties, pumpkins and lanterns, spiders and bats, and most importantly: costumes. At least that's how Sebastian saw it. In my opinion, no other part of the holiday matters as much as the chocolate. Ghosts and ghouls are fine and all, as are jack-o-lanterns and mixed drinks topped with gummy brains, but the excitement of seeing those alongside the fiery shades of leaves could never compare to the joy I feel when I catch sight of the long aisles of candy at every store, silently crying out my name as they eagerly waited to be bought and consumed. Delicious... Sebastian on the other hand was all about dressing up. Vampire? Check. Demon? Check. Sexy version of wolfman? Strangely enough, check. Yes, when it came to Halloween, our apartment became the most festive on the block, windows reflecting orange, green, and purple lights from the light-up pumpkins he had set up in the bedroom windowsill, while various skeleton creatures and ghost figurines decorated our bar and nightstands. As soon as summer ended, my boyfriend was already counting down the days until what he deemed the 'best holiday in existence', setting to work planning out what we would do and where we would go on the night of. This year however, he never mentioned what he would wear.

I assumed he was still deciding or waiting to see what the Halloween stores had to offer, but now that it's the day of, I'm starting to wonder if he's lost his mind. He's been talking about every other aspect of the night non-stop: Baking orange and yellow cupcakes, handing out candy, attending Ronald's annual Boos & Booze evening, watching scary movies, he even mentioned buying caramel drizzle for our own private celebration in our bedroom tonight! But he breathed not a single word about zombie face paint or angel wings. Unless he's already picked something and plans to surprise me? That worries me more than it should. Just what is he playing at? The arms curling themselves around my waist easily broke me from my reverie. "If you distract me from this, you won't be getting any candy apples," I chided, hands halting in their motions as I tilted my head back to peak up at Sebastian, who had rested his chin atop my head, peaceful smile firmly in place. "I don't intend to distract you, I only wanted to watch. I didn't know you even knew how to make these," he hummed, lips meeting my forehead as he studied the chocolate dipped apples covered in pumpkin shaped sprinkles, "Is this your chosen offering for Ronald's party?" With a brief nod, I returned to my previous task, not bothering to push him away as he watched me work over my hair, stealing a drip of chocolate from the edge of one I had set aside only to dab it over my lips. I licked away the sweet liquid with a hum. At least it turned out well. "Half of them are, the rest of them are for us since you haven't tried them before. You usually like sweet and tart, right?" His arms detached from my waist as he instead moved to lean against the counter, now able to see both the snacks and my face. I suspect he wanted to see my reaction. "I like you don't I?" How like him to say... "Oh, I see how it is. Looks like I get more of these to myself then. Such a shame too, I made them for you and now you've ruined it and I have to eat them all by myself... Oh well, I'm suppose I can just give your portion to Beast and Joker instead, they should enjoy them," I sighed in faux disappointment, setting the plate of green apples in the refrigerator to chill until tonight. A horrified gasp was heard before he was on his knees, looking up at me with the most mockingly pleading expression I have ever witnessed, his tone dramatic enough to out perform the best of Shakespearean actors, "Oh my dearest Ciel, please forgive me for my insolence. I realize now how wrong of me it was to say such a horrid thing. I do hope you will accept my most humble apology and allow me to partake in eating the delicious snack that you have gone to such trouble to prepare."

It's official, he's outdone himself this time. This is the most ridiculous speech I've ever heard from him even if all his words were spoken with the goal of making me laugh. Does he write these down until he gets the chance to use them? "Such a heartfelt plea for mercy. It's too bad I don't give second chances isn't it?" I snickered, flicking him on the head before setting the chocolate stained bowl in the sink. "How cruel of you. I show my soft under-belly and all you do is make fun of me and deny me of my dire need for food," he playfully pouted, barely able to keep a smile off his lips. What a dork. "Soft under-belly you say? Do you suddenly view yourself prey?" With a snort, I poked his stomach with a wry smile, "Doesn't feel very soft to me. Perhaps you do need candied apples to fix that." I was pulled against his chest and pecked on the cheek as I stared up at him, raising an eyebrow as his mouth curled into a smirk. "It's called muscle, dearest. And why would I need them for that reason? Are you planning to fatten me up and eat me?" Russet eyes narrowed suggestively, eyebrows wiggling just the slighest bit. Two can play at that game. I trailed a single digit over his chest, stopping once I reached his shoulder, "Fatten you up, no. I guess you'll have to wait until tonight though to see if I'm going to eat you." He flat out laughed at that, mirth clear as he brought his lips to mine, his grin still present as he pulled me closer. "How naughty. I look forward to finding out." All was silent as I pressed my forehead against his, more than happy to enjoy his company and touch as his hands rubbed over my sides and my own smoothed over his shoulders. I'm not sure how long we stood in the middle of the kitchen, bathing in each other's presence and the warmth the moment created, but finally I shattered the quietness with the question I've been itching to ask for months, "What costume did you choose this year?" His head parted from mine and his gentle look morphed into a more devious one, my words being used against me when he merely shrugged and said, "You'll have to wait until tonight to see." I have a bad feeling about this...

It was nearing time to leave. I was already in the living room, laid across the couch with my phone in my hand and Ravenclaw robes draped across my body, my free hand tugging at the black and cobalt tie while I scanned over the words on the screen in front of me. Ten minutes ago I had been kicked out of the bedroom where I perched on the bed so Sebastian could change clothes, that alone was strange. I know he said it was a surprise, but did he really have to carry me into the living room, drop me on the couch, and then lock the bedroom door behind him? And what costume takes this long to put on? Did he decide last minute to assemble an entire Transformers outfit out of boxes and tape? With a groan, I tossed my mobile aside, bored with the repetitive articles, memes, and dog videos after such a short time. Or maybe it wasn't the internet's fault, but my boyfriend's fault for filling my thoughts and distracting me from my every attempt to dull the suspense coiling inside. "Hey! We only have ten more minutes before we have to leave, Sebastian! Hurry up, would you?" I called, crossing my arms impatiently, awaiting the moment in which the door would click open. That time came after what felt like an hour, though realistically it was less than five minutes, and suddenly I wished he hadn't dressed up in the first place.

I have seen many things in my life, terrible, terrible things. I have watched Alois throw up in my car when he was drunk, caught Elizabeth and Sieglinde going at it particularly hard in the hotel room Sebastian and I had shared with them last Spring Break, and even caught dad hitching up mum's skirt in the kitchen of all places when I went home last Christmas. But none of that is half as horrifying as the image currently burning itself into my retinas now. There my boyfriend stood, three feet from me, with a mask in his hand, a shit-eating grin on his face, and a skeleton bodysuit hugging him tightly. The skeleton wasn't a problem per se, it was a bit cheap looking, but overall decent. No, it was certain attributes that brutally slaughtered any redeeming qualities the design flaunted. Skeletons are made of bones, everyone knows that. But the bone bobbing proudly from between his legs was highly unnecessary. Why on Earth would someone give a skeleton a fucking boner!? "Sebastian... Do explain yourself..." I muttered uncomfortably, unable to tear my eyes from the erection born from what I'm assuming is an air pump, if the one he laid on the chair was anything to go by. "I'm not sure what there is to explain, Ciel. You asked what earlier what I was wearing, and now you know," the dark-haired man replied innocently, placing a hand on his hip as his smile grew. As my cheeks grew redder and redder, I sat up, fixing him with a blank stare. "Every store has at least three different skeleton options, why did you choose the most terrible one? Better yet, why would anyone actually sell this!?" I dropped my head into my hands with a groan, praying that when I open my eyes, he will be wearing something less... This. Unfortunately, when I glanced back up, it was still the same. "Terrible? This is the best thing I've ever owned! I don't think I will ever need to buy another costume again when I can wear this instead. Just look at it, it's brilliant! Whoever created this was quite clever with naming it as well." The cushion beside me dipped as he plopped down beside me, black fabric brushing my cheek as he cupped it, "Do you want to know what it's called?" I shook my head frantically. After this, I won't be eating _anything_ other than candy tonight. His breath warmed my ear and rustled my hair as he leaned in close, lips just ghosting over the shell of my ear as he whispered something that made all of this so much worse. "Skeleboner."

**Author's Note:**

> Come hit me up on Tumblr!: griever-bit-my-finger


End file.
